American Baptists and trusting God

I belong to the American Baptist denomination. I didn't grow up Baptist. In fact the word had lots of bad connotations for me but I ended up at an ABC seminary (long story that is irrelevant here). While I was there I learned what I took to be the best parts of the Baptist tradition - a commitment to diversity in community because each individual is responsible before God to work out their own faith and each local congregation is responsible to incarnate the presence of God where they are. Nobody outside has the power to dictate to anyone else what they should believe or how that faith should be lived. All of that is kept in tension with the need to be in community. Individuals don't spin their faith out of their own juices, they work it out as they wrestle with scripture and with others. Churches associate with other churches to do the things they cannot do alone and to be accountable to one another.
It has added up to my vision of what a denomination could be. There is no single racial group that comprises over 50% of the churches. There is theological diversity from fundamentalists on the right to churches that are essentially unitarian on the left. There are churches that back progressive social agendas and churches that are pro W all the way... and everything in between. It is messy and sometimes difficult. There is always someone who disagrees and usually can give reasonable justification for their views. I think that is a recipe for growth.
Sadly, there are those who disagree with me and the region I am a part of has chosen to leave because of "irreconcilable theological differences."
The presenting issue is homosexuality. There is obviously a lot going on there but I am coming to believe that maybe there is something deeper... I think there is a profound difference in theology but not the one presented... I think these folk have a small God.
They believe that God cannot surprise them. They know who and how God loves and how that love can and cannot be expressed in the world. They claim it is about the authority of scripture but really it is about the authority of their interpretation... and they know God's mind.
They lack faith in God. The folk who are pulling out feel a need to protect God and themselves from being sullied through contact with "the other." God is dependent upon their holiness and is unable to bring into its fullness, the kindom of God without them being "pure."
They don't understand the incarnation. Jesus was always there with those who were most likely to be at the margins of society and his criticism was always aimed at the religious and those who saw themselves as righteous.
Please don't think that I am implying these folk do not have faith... they do, serious faith. My criticisms do not show the whole of what they believe or how they live out their faith. They bring real commitment, a concern to share the good news of the gospel, and a tenacious spirituality, all of which I can and need to learn from... And that is why I grieve that they are removing themselves from the fellowship to which I have committed myself. We will all be impoverished.