Wednesday, December 18, 2013

grandparenting

It's been a while since I've posted an entry here... life has been full.

In October our daughter, son-in-law, and grandson moved in with us.  It has been a tricky adjustment.  We have 5 adults, an infant, and 3 cats in our medium sized condo.   There are the tensions and adjustments one would expect when a grown child and her family move back with the rents.  Add the clutter that comes with a baby and you get the picture.  All of that has been a more difficult adjustment for my spouse than for me, but it is what it is.  I can only guess what my daughter and son-in-law are feeling about all of it.

Well, here's the good side.  I get to see my grandson every day and directly experience the changes that most grandparents don't get to see.  I tell him daily that he is "my favorite person in the whole world," and I mean it.  He brings a sense of delight to my life that hasn't been there in a good while.  When I hold him, I see the future.  When he smiles I melt.  Life is good.

I've thought a lot about the differences between parenting and grandparenting.  Obviously there are some bits that are the same.  We all want the very best for Corwin.  We want him to be happy, healthy, and to find a path for his life that is full.   Still there is a big difference.  I'm not responsible.  That makes my agenda for his life much less weighty.  I can enjoy my time with him.  If I change his diaper, it is because I want to, not because I have to.  Indeed, changing his diaper is one of my favorite activities as we get to talk uninterrupted.

OK, so let me brag on him a bit... Corwin loves music, or at least the music that he loves.  He is very opinionated.  He loves rhythmic music.  When music he enjoys is playing he moves arms, legs, and head and sometimes sings along.  When that song ends or when he hears music he doesn't like, he cries.   The first time I noticed it, I had recorded the Saturday Night Live episode with Katy Perry and it was playing while I changed his diaper.  He loved Roar and trying to get his diaper on was like trying to do origami with a fish as all of his limbs were moving.  The song ended... and he roared.  He likes faster Irish music and just about anything with a strong rhythm.  One of his favorites is an old Harry Belafonte tune I sing to him sometimes - Zombie Jamboree (as a child, the Kingston Trio version was in heavy rotation at my house).  There are those times when our tastes don't quite line up.  We were watching The Voice this week (one of his favorite shows BTW) and the coaches did a song with Def Leppard.  He loved it... me not so much.  Given the way he moves all of his limbs, I won't be surprised if he becomes a drummer.  Watch out Manu Katche, here he comes!