Celebrate!

December 13 is a special day in our house. 10 years ago on December 13, we sat in a judge's office and signed the final adoption papers for our son John. John came to us as a foster child at age 16 months and we all lived in that limbo until he was 5 when he was freed for adoption and became part of our forever family.

We remember that day each year in a small way. Last night (the 13th didn't work with schedules), we all went out to a restaurant that John chose and had a few hours of celebrating our forever family.

There are those who say that John was blessed... and there is some truth in that. His life would have been very different had things not gone the way they did. Many, many children in foster care end up with pretty dismal outcomes. Still, there is a hint of paternalism in those comments that doesn't get all of the truth. The entire family was blessed that day. The fact that he has different genes makes him no less my son. The fact that I didn't witness his birth makes me no less his father. The fact that he has blue eyes, is 6'2" and built like a lineman doesn't make him any less a part of this forever family.

Some say that adoptive chilcdren are chosen... that is sort of true... but it is also true of biological children (we chose to get pregnant). In either case, it is a matter of a family deciding to love one another, to put one another first, to tolerate the warts and embrace the foibles, to be a family no matter what comes.

John is my baby boy... even though I wouldn't dare try to put him on my lap. Sometimes he frustrates me - after all he is a 16 year old boy/man. Sometimes he amazes me - he has such a good heart. I am blessed that he was allowed to be a part of my life.