Tell me that you love me more...

I'm not a fan of Apple but they sure do have some wonderful commercials. I'm also pretty far from the cutting edge or even trailing edge of music these days so I was thrilled to see the new Ipod commercial and then track the song down. I love the song and I love the video. 1234 by Feist feels like the innocent, fun, folkie material that I knew from New England and the video implies a lot that makes me enjoy music - it creates community, allows the inner child to come out, and is just fun. So... here's the entire video for the song.

these and these

I don't know very much about the tradition of wisdom from the Rabbis, but the little I've read is extremely attractive to me. One of the speakers at the Spirit and Nature conference I mentioned in an earlier blog was Rabbi Rami Shapiro. He was inspiring and challenging and was very conversant with Christianity.

At one point during his presentation he quoted his tradition... "Elu v'elu d'vrei Elohim Chayyim" which he said basically translates as "these and these are all the words of the Living God." The interpretation of the saying is that if God is truly infinite, then ideas about God must be plentiful and even paradoxical. Just because two ideas contradict one another does not mean that one must be wrong. It is necessary to hold the two contradicting ideas and find truth in both of them if we are to begin to truly encounter God.

As a Baptist, that doesn't feel like a foreign idea to me. As I understand my tradition, there was always room left for the conflicting opinion because there was always the possibility that God was, indeed, speaking through it. It is built into the very fabric of Christian theology. We begin with a paradox... Jesus is fully human and fully God. How can that be? And we go on from there.

At the same time, it is not a comfortable position for many Christians who see the world in a very mechanistic terms. It certainly is not a popular way of thinking among Baptists even if it is central to our tradition. No, many Christians have a theology of syllogisms: If A is true and B contradicts A, B must be not true. It makes for a predictable and comfortable god, but as the Rabbis would remind us, a god too small to be God. Paul reminded us that "now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then we will see face to face. Now I know only in part; then I will know fully, even as I have been fully known." Our ideas about God must always be couched in humility. We do not know everything about God, what we do know may be contradictory, and what we think we know may in fact be distorted... So for now, we look for the words of the Living God in these... and in these.

drummer

We need a drummer at our church... so if you know anyone in the general Santa Barbara, CA area, send them our way.

(graphic came from musicmasterpro... hope they don't mind me using it)

What would you give up?

I attended a part of a conference on spirituality and the environment last weekend. One of the break-out groups began with a question... "What would you have to give up for this vision of the world to come to pass?" It felt like a good question to consider in the larger context of the kindom of God...

Immediately I began to make a list... It including questions regarding my retirement account, the possibility of ever owning a home, cutting back on electronic toys (like the laptop I'm writing on), travel, my lust for guitar related things, etc. etc. etc. As I was writing my list I had a breakthrough. I realized that those things are not the real problem. The real problem for me is that I have a picture of the world. It includes all of those things and more. The real problem is that I have a picture of the world and have difficulty imagining one that is different. Any foray into this new world is a step into the unknown... and I am filled with anxiety and lack of trust about that unknown world. What I need to give up is my fear.

Of course, Jesus talked a great deal about these things. He spoke of trusting God for the future and worrying only about the day in front of us. And 1 John spoke of perfect love (God's love) casting out all fear. What do I have to give up? Fear. What do I gain? Everything. What do you have to give up?

Rest in Peace Joe

We were traveling on Tuesday so I didn't hear the news that Joe Zawinul died of cancer on Tuesday in Vienna at age 75. I've never been much of a jazz fan but Joe Zawinul has made some of the most sublime music that I've ever heard. His work with Weather Report changed the musical world as he and saxophonist Wayne Shorter gathered the cream of the crop to produce a fusion of jazz, rock, and world music. He played with Miles Davis, Cannonball Adderly, Jaco Pastorius, Wayne Shorter, Alex Acuna, Herbie Hancock and scores of other great musicians. To learn more about his work and hear some of his tunes go to NPR.
His son Erich commented..."Joe Zawinul was born in Earth time on 07 July 1932 and was born in Eternity time on 11 September, 2007. He, and his music, will continue to inspire!" Amen.

I just had to add this video off of youtube... The song is Birdland performed in '78 and that is the amazing, late Jaco Pastorius on bass.

you can't go home again

A little over five years ago we left Albany, NY to head to another planet - Santa Barbara. Albany had been our home for 14 years and Emmanuel Baptist Church, 1 block from the capital building, was our faith community. John was born in Albany and Alexis spent the most important formative years of her early life there. We had a fantastic house. My spouse, Cheryl and I worked together and found our relationship both stretched and challenged by spending that much time with each other. The Emmanuel community taught us more than I can even begin to say about what it means to be a follower of Jesus. They played a critical role in shaping who I am now.

It is a church with significant ministries in the city. Together with 1st Pres, Westminster Pres, Israel AME, Trinity Methodist, and MCC of the Hudson Valley, they form the FOCUS churches of the Capital Hill. Those 6 churches feed over 100 people a day in their winter breakfast program, run a food pantry that serves hundreds of families a month, do important advocacy work, and have played a central role in virtually every important social issue that has faced the city of Albany.

EBC is a diverse congregation. It is racially, culturally, and economically mixed. Seeing the variety of colors sitting in the sanctuary or sharing at table is a wonderful reflection of God's kindom.

Leaving Emmanuel was one of the most difficult moves that I have ever made. I loved the people, enjoyed the work, and felt as if we were accomplishing good things there. It truly was our home. Still, it was time to leave. There were tasks that needed to be done that I could not lead.

This past Sunday we went back to visit Emmanuel for the first time since we left. A number of older members had died and were conspicuously absent. There were new faces including a number of children. There were old friends whom I deeply love and miss. It was bitter sweet but it was good. I see that God is at work and the current pastor has led the congregation in directions that I could not. Seeds that we had planted are growing and new directions were evident.

I also saw that I have gone in new directions and that the time in Santa Barbara has helped me to grow in new ways. My children have both discovered new directions and Cheryl has taken on a new and deeply moving ministry as a chaplain in a hospice organization. And we all have new friends whom we love.

It is said that you can't go home again. I guess it is partly true... Emmanuel is not my home any longer and at this point it wouldn't be good for them or for me if it was. Still... you can visit... and the visit was wonderful.

Stephanie & James

Weddings are not my favorite events. There is too much pressure to "keep up with the Joneses," the couple are often in this fog that keeps them from being truly present in the moment, and just about everyone has unrealistic expectations. So usually, I'm not crazy about them. And if it involves planning or conducting the service with someone else, it drops another notch or two or ten on my satisfaction meter.

We're in upstate NY for a friends wedding and it had every possibility of being a mess. It was hot and humid. Nobody involved lived where the service was taking place. It was a joint service with a Roman Catholic priest (the theological and liturgical differences can be insurmountable). Family came from all over the world and had competing expectations. The couple recently moved from Santa Barbara to D.C. for work and had their own mix of tensions.

Because nobody was from the place where the wedding happened (long involved story there), folk were imported for just about every piece. The priest and I both came from Santa Barbara, CA. The gospel singers in the wedding drove down from Albany. The musicians at the reception came from Boston. The florist was local and the caterer was local. Parents came from Florida and London. More & more possibilities for something to go wrong...

At the same time, James and Stephanie are wonderful people, mature enough to know what they're doing, and, even though they are as different as they could possibly be, they fit together like hand in glove. Their relationship had been tested by James being in Afghanistan for a year and had come out stronger and more solid than before.

Well... it was one of those wonderful weddings where everything fell in place and the service, with all of its disparate parts, worked. The bride glowed but it wasn't the glow of ignorance, it was the glow of love tested and found true. James looked into her eyes and was lost in the joy of commitment and discovery of a future filled with wonder, surprise, and grace. The choir was wonderful. The liturgical traditions connected well. It was a wonderful celebration for friends and family as we came together from all over the world and poured out love and support for the couple.

Congratulations James and Stephanie! May your life together be filled with love and may all of the hopes and dreams you hold and we hold for you be filled full.

2 years later

it has been two years since Katrina hit the Gulf Coast...



Senator Dodd has a bill before congress to rebuild the infrastructure that was destroyed two years ago. To sign a petition encouraging congress to pass the bill go here

The Dark Night of the Soul

Jesus has a very special love for you. As for me, the silence and the emptiness is so great that I look and do not see, listen and do not hear.
— Mother Teresa to the Rev. Michael Van Der Peet, September 1979

Last week, Mother Teresa's letters to her friend were released to the public, showing a woman who struggled mightily with doubt. Immediately people like Christopher Hitchens came out saying that ths was more proof that faith is ridiculous and even Mother Teresa didn't really have any. Indeed, Hitchens essentially says that she was trapped in a hole she had dug for herself during her time of delusion... i.e. faith.

Hitchens suffers from a common misconception - that faith and doubt are opposites. They are not. Indeed, they are twins and without doubt, there is no faith. When Mother Teresa audibly heard Christ speak to her and call her to ministry among the poorest of the poor, she knew. She did not need or have faith. She had heard the voice of God speaking. There was no question. There was no trust. There was only the choice of whether or not to obey. When she later knew Jesus as "The Absent One," it was only faith that kept her going. Remember that the writer of Hebrews tells us that "Faith is the substance of things not seen." It is precisely when we doubt that we find faith. It is in the dark night of the soul that we discover faith and stand upon that which we cannot see.

Obviously Hitchens and his like see proof that she was just a crazy masochist doing what no sane person would ever do. For me, my respect for the woman has sky-rocketed. She was not a super-hero, just a woman with doubts and struggles like any other who happened to do lots of small things with extra-ordinary love. In doing so, she brought the kindom of God a whole bunch of steps closer. And Mr. Hitchens... if she was just crazy... oh that the world would be blessed with more crazy people like her.

Teamsters!

I'm a union supporter. Yes, I know about the excesses of the national unions through the years and the corruption that has been there but I am still pro-union. I have seen the results of strong unions. I have also seen what happens when workers have no power.

I grew up in Pittsburgh in the days when steel was still king. The steelworkers had strong unions and that meant that Pittsburgh was a great place to be a blue collar person. Salaries and benefits were good. Pride was high among everyday folk who could provide a good living for their families by the sweat of their labor. My father was not in a union but he was blue collar. We benefitted from what they did. We also suffered when the shop owner who was my father's boss decided to break his word to his workers. They had no recourse as they weren't unionized.

I learned very early that a strong union is the only way that everyday folk can stand up to the power of very wealthy business owners.

Last week the unions won here in Santa Barbara. The Santa Barbara News Press was prosecuted by the National Labor Relations Board for their lack of recognition of the vote taken by the newsroom workers to join the Teamsters. Last week the NLRB ruled that the Graphic Communications Conference of the Teamster's Union is now officially certified as the bargaining unit for the newsroom employees at the News-Press.

There is an ongoing fight regarding employees who contend that they were illegally dismissed for engaging in union activities.

All in all, it is an important step in an important case regarding the way newspapers function in our society.

Moyers on Rove

Bill Moyers is one of my heroes. I think he exemplifies the best of the Baptist tradition.

Here is his commentary on Karl Rove.

dangerous living

I'm at Soliton and the theme this year is "Dangerous Living." We've had great discussions about the role of community as we as followers of Jesus live in tension with the dominant culture.

Since seeing the theme this year, Bruce Cockburn's tune from the '80's - Lovers in a Dangerous Time has been running through my mind. Cockburn is a man of faith whose music has consistently presented a challenging alternative to the ethos of the day. There is a line in this song that has the most wonderful image - "you've got to kick at the darkness till it bleeds daylight."

Here's the video of the tune... sorry it was made in the 80's so you can close your eyes and just listen to the tune if that works better for you.

I Laughed... I Cried

well, I didn't really cry at all, but I laughed a lot. I saw the Simpsons Movie and it was one of the funiest films I've seen in a long time.

August 6, 1945

On August 6, 1945, the nuclear weapon Little Boy was dropped on Hiroshima by the crew of the American Enola Gay, directly killing an estimated 70,000 people. Approximately 69% of the city's buildings were completely destroyed, and 6.6 percent severely damaged. In the following months, an estimated 60,000 more people died from injuries, and hundreds more from radiation. [Wikipedia]

I know the argument that the dropping of the bombs on Nagasaki and Hiroshima ended the war and saved lives. I don't believe it. And even if it was true, the action was still immoral and inexcusable. Look at the numbers. There must be one good thing that comes from it. Human beings must learn that never again can we unleash such destruction on our fellow human beings, on our home, on God's creation. We must destroy all nuclear weapons and never build them again. There is no justification for ever using them and without that threat, having them does not work as a deterrent. Destroy them all.

Ashes

This morning I went outside to get the LA Times and saw that everything was coated with ash. We've had ash off and on in the mornings since the Zaca Fire began. It is burning about 45 miles from where I live, on the other side of the Santa Ynez mountains. When the winds are coming from the right direction, the fire, which has burned over 38,000 acres, drops ash on Santa Barbara.

We are far from the fire. Its immediate consequences do not impact us here in SB. Indeed, the local newspaper isn't even providing its own coverage of the fire. They run the Associated Press stories! But today, if you have breathing problems you don't want to go outside. The ash lying on auto finishes has an impact. It touches us far away in unexpected ways that are only related to the fire itself in peripheral ways.

A few weeks ago, William Lobdell, told of his loss of faith in column one of the LA Times. He had the religion beat for a number of years. As he worked there and experienced, time after time, the sins of different faith leaders and groups, he lost faith. None of those leaders gave any thought to William Lobdell. They never imagined that abusing a little boy in a Catholic church would cause a writer for the LA Times to lose faith. A group of Mormons never imagined that shunning a fallen church member would so impact this stranger miles away. Like the ash falling on us in Santa Barbara, their actions and the actions of others left a mark on this man who they may never have even met and eventually killed his faith.

I think it was courageous for him to share his story and I pray for him. I hope that some day he is able to find faith again and feel the joy and peace it obviously gave him at one point in his life. I thank him for sharing his story that reminds me that my actions touch the lives of people far away and there may be ashes that mark someone whom I've never even met. I pray for myself that my actions and words will be reflective of what I claim to believe, of the loving Prince of Peace whom I try to follow. Thank you William.

the fragility of life

The last week and half has been a difficult one. The fragility of life has been thrust into our faces yet again.

Misty Yurko, my niece, was 30 years old. She struggled with Crohn's disease for about five years and had had her ups and downs with that until last November she came down with pneumonia. She went into the hospital and never came home again. For eight months she had one issue after another - times when it looked as if she would get better... times when organs would stop working, seemingly at random. Two weeks ago she seemed to be on an upswing and there was hope that she might actually recover. We had seen her in June, and while she was weak, we did have some time to laugh and smile. I hoped that the next time I saw her she would be back to herself.

Misty was doing physical therapy and things were looking good. Then, in a day she went back from the physical therapy department to a regular hospital room. The next day she was in ICU, non-responsive, and on life support. A few days later she was gone.

We always lived a distance from her so we didn't know her as well as I would have liked. She was about 6 years older than Alexis and the times we saw her during childhood, she loved playing the "big sister" to Alexis. I'm left with wondering how things might have been different... how I might have spent my time better with her. My sister is trying to figure out how to face a world without her daughter in it.

Five days ago we received word that a cousin of one of our church members was killed in Iraq. I never met Jimmy but I have heard a little about him and can guess some more. He graduated from high school in 2005 without direction and the family says he joined the military as a way of growing up. I expect that he had to know that he would end up in Iraq so there may have been some patriotism involved, some hope for adventure, even the yearning for the testosterone thrill of the battle... all of the fantasies of an 18 year old who has never seen the horrors of war. I don't have any idea what he experienced while there. Perhaps he felt he was doing something of value, perhaps not... in either case, he is gone. His family is in tatters. All of the dreams for the future are gone.

I want to be furious about his death. Jimmy is the closest that I have come to this needless war. I want to be able to hold him up as the picture of the waste this administration has caused - the waste of resources, but more importantly the waste of lives. I cannot. All I can do is feel grief, and sadness, and loss. I never knew Jimmy but he sounds like he was a great kid. I never will know him now.

In a blink, it is gone. Life is fragile. It ends with a sniper's bullet, a disease that cannot be stopped, a bridge collapsing during an afternoon commute, the long wear of years... sometimes it is long and full, sometimes far too short. Sometimes it is filled with joy, sometimes with pain, most often a mixture of the two, but it is always fragile. And it is always precious. I hope that I remember this a few months from now when the press of work and the day to day is all around. I hope that I take the time to talk with the kids in my church and neighborhood, to hug my family, to smell the flowers and watch the birds... Life is fragile... too fragile to waste on the unimportant.

One Year Later

It has been over a year since the mess at the News Press, the local newspaper in Santa Barbara, began. Some 70+ employees including over 50 in the newsroom alone have been fired or resigned over the practices at the paper. One response was the formation of a website - Santa Barbara Newsroom which was an attept to keep the news coming. It was run by a number of former News Press reporters who were fired for union activities. Well Santa Barbara Newsroom is no longer live (they ran out of money) but their swan song is a documentary that shows what has happened in Santa Barbara.

The documentary teaches us some important lessons regarding the role of a newspaper, the necessity for unions to regain their strength, and the disaster that occurs when wealth and power run unconstrained. It runs about 29 minutes, but it is worth watching.

It also reminds me that the battle is not over and that we must not forget it and move on to the next thing... if you live in Santa Barbara and have not cancelled your subscription to the News Press, do it today. If you have friends or family here, ask them to do so. If you visit stores in Santa Barbara, encourage them to find other venues for advertising and patronize those businesses that do advertise elsewhere. Fight the good fight!

Fresh

I miss apples. I know, they grow apples in California and every grocery store sells apples but they aren't the same. There is something about an Empire that you pick off a tree in upstate New York, wipe on your shirt, and then eat. There is something about a Winesap from Pennsylvania... you get the idea. Just like the grocery store tomatoes don't taste like real tomatoes, those store bought apples don't quite cut it. You can't buy real apple cider here and nobody even knows what a cider donut is.

Moving to the central coast in California, I have learned that the same thing is true for all produce. We get the most amazing vegtables here... straight from the fields, strawberries to die for all year round, oranges and lemons... but I'm told that grapefruit don't like the climate and don't grow well. Now I've had those grapefruit shipped from Texas and they are good. They are amazing compared to what I've tasted from grocery stores in the northeast but we found out they just don't cut it compared to the real thing. My son John works for an agency that helps elderly and disabled folk with maintenance issues at their homes. Last week he helped at a home where they had a grapefruit tree. The owner told him to pick a few and take them home. He picked some at random (he had know idea which to pick), threw them in a bag and brought them home. Well, well, well... the kitchen filled with this wonderful fragrance - grapefruit (as I knew it) but sweeter. Then we cut one and ate it. It didn't need added sugar or honey. It was amazing!

So I learned the lesson again... buy fresh. Buy local. Enjoy!

gigs!

Some of you know that I had a very frustrating time trying to put together a funk project with my good friend (and amazing vocalist) Stephanie - working title The Broken Hipsters. We found a great bass player in Johno Dunn and had problem after problem finding a drummer. It began to feel as if they were exploding like in Spinal Tap! Every time we found a good drummer something would go wrong. Finally we found one and it felt as if things were finally going to work. Then we tried to find a keyboard player and had more difficulties. Then the drummer quit the project and we were back to square one. We found another drummer who was very good and clicked extremely well with Johno and then other personal issues got in the way and I tore the tendon in my finger. Needless to say, the project never got off the ground in spite of showing lots of promise.


Just as the Hipsters were disintegrating completely, a great drummer friend of mine, Mike Golden, called me. He had met a singer/songwriter named Jamie Green who had recently moved to Santa Barbara from LA and was looking for an acoustic guitar player. I had been playing mostly electric for a while but Mike was so enthusiastic I thought I should make a contact. We connected and things clicked nicely.

It has been an interesting experience. Jamie is extremely professional and knows exactly what she wants. She played with the same guitar player in LA for about 5 years so it has been an adjustment for her to deal with a new player.

All of this is to say that we have three gigs scheduled over the coming days:

Friday July 13, 6-8 at Borders Books in Goleta, California
Sunday, July 15, 4-6, Northstar Coffeehouse, 918 State Street, Santa Barbara, CA
Saturday July 28, 8, Northstar Coffeehouse, opening for John Cragie.

If you're in the area, stop by and give a listen. If not, check out Jamie's music at the link above.

ABC Biennial

It's been a week since we got home from the American Baptist Churches Biennial meeting... I wanted to write seriously about it but by now, a lot of the meeting has receded into that area of my brain where cobwebs outnumber synapses so you'll get some impressions only.

The meetings took place in the Washington DC Convention center... it s a cavernous place that really requires many more people than we had (about 2500) to feel "alive." Even the opening night which we shared with the Cooperative Baptist Fellowship, who were ending their convention, wasn't full. (they numbered about 3000.) The space made it difficult to feel connected and all of the meetings felt smaller than they were.

THE CBF is a lively group. Their display area was wonderful to walk through. The downside of them is that they seemed pretty homogeneous - white and southern.

The joint ABC/CBF worship began with a presentation from the pension/benefit board. Huh? What a silly way to celebrate our relationship even though it is a way that ABC has helped out the CBF.

ABC did a better job with media this year but still was not as good as many local churches.

The worship services leaned towards the "Swiss army knife" style that happens when you try to make an extremely diverse group of people happy. Sometimes it worked and sometimes it felt just like a Swiss army knife - lots of little parts that aren't big enough to do what they're meant to do while at the same time making the whole thing a less than useful monstrosity (yes, that is an exaggeration but I liked the word).

The preaching was less than I hoped for. Lauran Bethell was probably the stand out for me. She was the individual least likely to be known for her preaching but the genuineness of her presentation really worked for me. There was some wonderful music - a few of the choirs were amazing - and some that did nothing for me at all - enough said there. A number of the African American churches brought dancers as did a southeast Asian congregation. Fun.

Walter Shurden spoke at the Association for Baptist Principles meeting and was wonderful at laying out the foundation for who we are as baptists.

The best part of the meetings is getting together with friends, many of whom I get to see only at the biennials. We had some reasonable beer and some great conversations.

I was happy to see the racial diversity (we do this better than anyone else in the US) but saddened that the full breadth of who we are wasn't visible. The anglo conservatives didn't come. In addition to the folk from PSW who weren't there (and most would not have attended anyway), I didn't see any of the conservatives that I know from around the denomination. This lack of theological breadth made for less contention but it also made for some boring meetings and didn't feel quite "Baptist." For me, the diversity of theological stance is crucial to who we should be. There was also an awful lot of gray hair present...

The next biennial will be in Pasadena. I hopeful that the location will draw some new folk to the meeting and that the planners will build on what was done well... two years will tell.