Wednesday, June 21, 2006
in memoriam, Beverly Jean Donkin
On 6/14 at about 2:00 in the afternoon, my mother died. The hospice nurse was with her at the time. That was good as her deepest fear was of being alone. For about a week prior, she was slipping in and out of consciousness so I hadn't spoken to her in over a week. I didn't have the opportunity to have one of my sisters hold a phone to her ear while I talked to her.
It was a difficult time as mother had a lot of unresolved issues... more than I realized. There were tensions with my sisters. Mom did get to ask one of them for forgiveness and received it but she never got there with my other sister. She never came to terms with the death of my biological father, Barney, and so her relationship with George Donkin was never quite what it could have been. That played itself out in the family in many ways both obvious and not. The pastor did a wonderful job in the service of acknowledging those issues while still offering us hope and calling us to forgiveness and grace.
I loved my mother in spite of those issues and I am thankful that she did her best to be a good and loving mother. I'm sorry that we weren't able to share more deeply and find closure but I can forgive her and hope that she can forgive me even now. Most of all, I hope I will learn and do a better job of sharing with those whom I love.