hmmmm...

saw this sign as we drove away from the National Airport in DC...



the jokes are just too easy...

Robert W. Cholke

Yesterday I learned of the death of the Rev. Robert W. Cholke in April of this year at age 67.

Cholke (everyone that I knew who knew him called him "Cholke," even Lee, his wife at the time) was my and Cheryl's CPE (Clinical Pastoral Education) supervisor at the Haverford State Mental Hospital outside of Philadelphia. He was one of the most important people in my early formation as a clergy person. His imprint is still clear to anyone who knew him and who knew me before my time at Haverford. Cholke was bright, insightful, one of the most perceptive persons I have ever known, and funny. Most of all, he was real. There was no pretense and nothing hidden. He shared himself openly and freely.

Let me tell three stories about Cholke.

1. I clearly remember my first day at Haverford... I was more than a little nervous. I had had almost no experience with mental illness and was filled with stereotypes. My theology at the time was narrow and naive. And there was Cholke... chain smoking, heavy drinking, couldn't form a sentence without a 4 letter word, Lutheran, Cholke. I was aghast! What could this man teach me? He couldn't even be a real Christian. I was sure it would be a waste of time, just a hoop to jump through to finish seminary. I'd hang in there and be done with him as soon as possible. Little did I know.

2. As part of the CPE program we had individual sessions with the supervisor. One day, I arrived to see Cholke and he was running late with a patient. I sat outside the door for a few moments before it opened. When it began to open, I stood to enter. There in the doorway was a man who I reacted to as one of the most repulsive human beings I had ever seen. I could smell him from feet away. His speech was slurred. He was missing teeth. His face was swollen and bruised, as if from a fight. His clothing was dishelved and his hair was a mess. He had tardive dyskinesia - a side effect from the use of major tranquilizers that cause an individual to loose control of small muscles when they aren't using them. When he wasn't talking his tongue darted around uncontrollably. His fingers also moved, as if with minds of their own. My first reaction was to step back. His attention was on Cholke who was there completely and absolutely for him. Before he left, Cholke took the man and embraced him with a smile and a laugh. Cholke saw what I could not. He saw the face of Jesus. No, he saw this man as a child of God. It was a moment of grace for a man from whom most would run. For me, it was a moment of transformation - one huge step on my journey to see what is real and true.

3. Cheryl and I participated in a couples' group with Cholke and Lee. Week after week Cholke would see something the rest of us had missed, share it, and we'd all think, "how'd we miss that?" Then came the week we were looking at some of the issues in Cholke's relationship with Lee. He was as clueless as the rest of us when it came to his own relationship.

I could write pages about the things I learned from Cholke and the ways those insights changed who I am. Whenever Cheryl and I would talk with another clergy person regarding their CPE experiences, more often than not we would shake our heads and give thanks that Cholke had been our supervisor. I hope he would be proud of who I have become and of the ministry I do. I know he would shake his head, laugh, smile, and call me on things I had not seen.

I hadn't seen him in more than 20 years. I am sure that he grew and changed and that the journey of his life sharpened his insights and enriched his ministry of caring. I do know that he married again and that family life had brought him both joy and pain. I pray for those who loved him and were close to him during these years, that God will hold them close in grace and love and ease their grief, especially his wife, Joanne Martindale.

These words were found in some of Cholke's papers... and they sum up his spirit...

People don't need a long life,
As much as they need a compelling reason to live,
And a compelling reason to die.
For upon these two necessities
Is Life for the human being
(in that great array of living things)
Sustained, enabled, and fulfilled.

Chaplain Robert W. Cholke, 5/18/94

Thank you Cholke for all that you taught me, for the imprint you made in my life, helping me to be come who I am. My life is richer and fuller because of you. Rest in peace my friend.

Congratulations John!

things change

Our baby... a 6'3", 285 pound baby, graduated from high school on the 15th. We are so proud of John. He is turning into a wonderful young man. His mother and I are excited and expectant to watch as he continues to grow and mature and turn into the good man we see taking shape. I'm sure there will continue to be surprises... but that makes the future even more wonderful.

He begins as a student at Santa Barbara City College in the fall, probably as a business major. We'll see where his path leads him... and watch proudly.

Paris

no... not the city. I just had to write about her.

It really has been a roller coaster ride hasn't it? First, she gets sentenced to jail. In California a celebrity getting found guilty and sentenced is a very very very rare thing. We know which side our bread is buttered on and we give them the slack they need to live the excessive lives we all wish we could. Then she is released because of "medical reasons." Say what? I'm guessing that a significant proportion of the inmates in the LA county jail have drug problems, or mental illness, or severe anxiety about the place they are (most people don't get excited about going to jail and it is a scary place).

I have to admit that at first I felt like cheering when she went back to jail... spoiled little rich girl needs to learn a lesson... but the more I thought of it, I began to think that maybe... just maybe she should be released.

We have incredible over-crowding in our jails. All kinds of people (Paris included) end up there when some other setting would be much more effective at dealing with their problem. Perhaps she should be doing community service in a physical rehabilitation facility that deals with folk injured in automobile accidents. Or maybe she should be spending her time helping homeless alcoholics. Something... anything... to help her learn what a spoiled brat she is and turn her life outward.

And there are those who are there because of who they are. Racism is still operative both in our laws (look at the laws for crack abuse - mostly a crime of poor minority folk - vs. powdered cocaine - a drug of rich mostly white folk) in enforcement (lots of my friends have been pulled over for DWB - driving while black), and in sentencing. Of course there are issues of personal responsibility but there are also issues of culture that cannot be dismissed. There must be something wrong wen we are second only to Russia in the percentage of our population in prison.

So Free Paris! And if you want a little pink bracelet that says just that, for only $9.99 you can order one here

Shift Happens

A friend sent me this link....

it is long but raises some interesting questions.

glumbert.com - Shift Happens

Prince at the Alma Awards

with Sheila E and Grupo Fantasma!

my, my, my...

what more is there to be said?

A Man of Grace

I have to admit that I wanted to blog about Scooter Libby and especially about te vice president's reaction to his conviction but good news prevailed.


Yesterday's L.A. Times had a front page article on David Scholer, professor of New Testament at Fuller Seminary. Dr. Scholer is dying with cancer but has learned to live the verse from Thessalonians - "Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances." And his life exudes grace to all who come in contact with him.

I have met him in passing, read some of his writing, and heard him speak a number of times. He is an American Baptist and his theology and style exemplify the best of what I understand of the Baptist tradition. Good stuff... his scholarship, but more important than that to me has been his faith and the way he lives his life. May I learn that lesson.

film

In the last week I've rented two little films that were fantastic and which I would highly recommend seeking out...


The Beauty Academy of Kabul is the first. Yes, it sounds like and is an oxymoron - a beauty academy in Kabul. What it also turns out to be is a quiet and gentle lesson about every day acts being subversive, about unintended consequences of international policies, about the power of the human spirit.

The second film is one that you'd likely never hear about. 10 Items or Less is an intimately scaled film staring Morgan Freeman as an actor researching a part and Paz Vega as a checkout girl in a grocery store. The film follows the two of them for the better part of day as they interact with one another. The characters are wonderful. The story is human. When the film ended, I wished they could both become my friends. But as Freeman's character and Scarlet acknowledge near the end of the film... they'll never see one another again. We'll never see these characters again, but it was certainly worth spending a short 82 minutes with them.

Keith Olbermann on Iraq

I don't watch much TV and almost never MSNBC so I missed this comment when it was aired. I came across it today on Mike Leaptrott's blog. It is long and perhaps not quite as timely as when it was delivered a few days ago but still very much on target and worth watching and sharing.

Thanks Mike!

Arlington West

This photo of is of the Arlington West Memorial at the beach in Santa Barbara. There are 3000 crosses in the sand, most with names, many with photos. Of course there is also a sign that recognizes that as of this writing there are actually 3497.

Memorial Day is always an ambivalent day for me. I am a pacifist. I always think there is another way to solve conflict than with military might. The Iraq War itself involves no ambivalence. I think Bush, Cheney and the rest of them should be tried for war crimes and imprisoned. Now we know that they told yet another lie when they tell us that nobody could predict what has happened. Before the invasion they had received intelligence estimates that predicted exactly what happened. Of course, they ignored those predictions. They must be held responsible for the death and destruction they have caused.

My feelings about the casualties are very different. (here's a link to the names, details, and photos of those who have died). Some who have died signed up for the military because they truly believed in this mission and believed they could make a difference in the world. Some were in the reserves because they believed it was an easy way to supplement their income and never dreamt they would be in combat. At worst they expected to be deployed to help clean up after a natural disaster. Some were confused young people who joined the military in hopes of finding direction for their lives. Someone had told them that "joining the army will make you a man."

The men and women represented by those crosses in the sand, many of whom were too young to really know who they were or where they were going, gave their lives at the bequest of the nation. It is a noble act to be willing to sacrifice your future for the greater good. It is an act to be honored. At the same time, it is an act that should not be required without the most serious of discussion and not until every other option has been exhausted. In this case there was no serious discussion and much of what there was was laced with lies. It wasn't a case where every reasonable option was exhausted, it was a time when the option chosen should not have been on the table at all.

These men and women did not waste their lives. They sacrificed for their country. Still, their lives were wasted. George Bush wasted their lives. They died for his macho fantasy in an unnecessary war that cannot be won.

I seriously doubt that he will be held accountable for his actions in this life, but I believe he will stand before God and listen to each name read, see each face of each soldier who died, of each one who has come back without limbs, of each one who cannot adjust to life after having seen what they saw and done what they did. He will see each face and hear each name of each Iraqi citizen who died as "colateral damage" or in the sectarian violence we fomented. He had better pray that his view of God is not accurate. If we do have a God of violence and vengence, as George Bush seems to believe, he will surely pay for what he has done. I imagine him standing and saying, "But I thought it was the right thing" with that goofy look on his face and God responds, "Go away from me. You never knew me."

futures

We aren't wine snobs but if we could afford it, we could easily become so... Cheryl and I are members of one of the wine clubs at Beckmen Vineyards. Yesterday we had a wonderful day at a tasting of futures (and a few current wines) exclusively for wine club members. Beckmen produces wonderful Syrahs, Grenaches, and Rhone style blends. We learned about Beckmen's biodynamic farming, had a nice picnic, enjoyed the tastings, and ordered a number of bottles of wine which will be released over the next year or so. Then, some we'll drink and some we'll hold for as many as 10 years. Buying good wine is a statement of optimism regarding the future.

Ecclesiastes was right when it tells us that "wine makes the heart merry." Good wine does it doubly

no to feeds

Sometimes I'm a luddite... I find myself rejecting some technological changes just in principle. Feeds are one that I'm still rejecting. Why? I like the surprise of finding something I wasn't expecting to find. I like not having to read everything that is out there (even from people who's blogs I want to read). I like the possibility of going to a blog and finding nothing new or a whole bunch of new posts. It feels relational when I choose to go to someone's blog to read what they have to say.

On a related note, there is a wonderful film available called The Devil's Playground which is a documentary about the Amish rite of passage called Rumspringa. In the film there is one Amish man who is interviewed regarding their relationship to technology and he said that they are not against technology for technology's sake. They are against the impact that it has on relationships with one another or with the world around them. Zipping by in a car stops the individual from being in relationship to the landscape. Sitting around a television stops the family from interacting.

So... I'm resisting feeds.

India

My daughter, Alexis, is working on a masters degree in the international studies department at UCSB and has been looking for a place to do some required international work. Door after door seemed to close in front of her and I was more than a little worried that nothing would come together. She wasn't concerned. She reminded us that doors open when they are supposed to. An example took place during her undergraduate work. One week, a speaker from The Institute for European and Social Studies in Szombatheley, Hungary spoke at her school and impressed her. Within a few weeks, she was in Hungary for a semester. It turned out to be a formative time for her.

She seems to have done it again. This time in a place equally as surprising. Alexis is headed to the Nelson Mandela Centre for Peace and Conflict Resolution in Chandigarh, India. Assuming that she can work out the visa issues, she'll be there in about 6 weeks. The current plan is that she'll spend about 6 weeks in Chandigarh and then move on to Delhi for about 5 more months.

I have to say that the possibilities both excite and frighten me... it is amazing how much smaller the world is than when I was her age, how many more opportunities there are, and the possibilities for growth and for making a difference in the world.

churches?

I have been a pastor in three churches for a total of about 29 years but I still wouldn't say that I really understand churches. Why one grows and another doesn't, why one seems to thrive while another struggles, why people choose to attend one over another... It puzzles me. Plus, every church is different. They do things differently. They understand their ministry differently. The members wear the tasks of keeping a church going in different ways. All of that adds up to a surprise whenever we experience another community of faith so one thing that I look forward to when we travel is visiting other churches.

Few have surprised me more than the one we attended a few weeks ago. I found the church via google - did a search for emerging churches in that city - and it seemed a reasonable choice that I would likely find positive.

There were about 350-400 people in the worship service. I would guess that about 60% of the folk present were past retirement age. There were very few 40-50 somethings and a lot of younger adults and small children. The younger children seemed to feel very much at home and didn't feel constrained as they moved around the worship center during the service and made a good bit of noise. It was a typical 70's style architecture and there was a large screen in the front. Dress was conservative.

Now for the surprises... A number of people recognized us as visitors and greeted us warmly both before worship and during the greeting time about 1/2 through the service. Almost every one of them (including one of the pastors) asked what church we belong to. I'm curious as to why we stood out so and more curious at the question that every person asked. I don't know if tey were looking for common ground or it they were testing us.

When we entered the room, I couldn't see any instruments and there was no background music going on. I didn't give it much thought though. I looked through the printed bulletin and didn't recognize the titles of most of the songs to be sung. So I opened the hymnal and was surprised to see the music was written in shape notes. I still hadn't put things together. There were no instruments. The service began with a video advertising the National Day of Prayer... Then a song leader went to the front, played a single note on a pitch pipe and began to sing. The congregation joined in, in parts. For one song, the novelty (to me) was nice. By the 3rd song, I was deadly bored. Communion followed... it was done in the pews and frankly was the least moving communion I've ever experienced. The preacher had a warm and engaging style and did a nice job of exegesis on the scripture, but he didn't ever really get to application (and there were lots of doors opened for that to happen). The sound was poor and it was very difficult to hear the folk upfront other than the preacher (who wore a lapel microphone).

It was one of those churches that I couldn't understand at all. It flew in the face of everything my gut tells me about churches. If I lived in that town, I would certainly never attend there again and couldn't understand why anyone who wasn't a serious shape note singing fan would... but the space was pretty full and it seemed as if the folk there were committed to that community of faith.

So what did I learn? I still don't understand churches. And don't trust everything google tells you.

a Strad

Anyone who knows anything about violins has seen hundreds of violins advertised as "Stradivarius." Just look on e-bay and there are probably 50 tere right now. Of course they aren't. The real thing is very rare and very expensive. There may be as many as 700 of his instruments surviving today and values run as high as $3.5 dollars.

I heard the real thing on Saturday evening. We saw Martin Chalifour as soloist with the Santa Barbara Symphony playing the "Milstein" Stradivarius, built in 1716 (courtesy of Mr. Jerry Kohl, i.e. Kohl owns the instrument and allows Chalifour to play it).

It was an interesting and informative experience. The violin sounded wonderful... it was rich and carried well in a large room over an orchestra. But it didn't sound that different to me than any number of other wonderful violins that I've heard, especially when playing with the orchestra. Indeed, in that context, I thought a violin that was a little brighter might have worked better. He also played a solo piece by Bach and the instrument shown more there. I have no idea what it felt like in Mr. Chalifour's hands.

It made me think about Guitar Acquisition Syndrome, instruments in context, and how instruments feel and sound to the player vs. how they sound to an audience.

Audiences can't usually tell the difference between an extraordinary instrument and an excellent one, especially in a mix with other instruments. We don't know how the violin responds to the player. Does it fight back or is it very easy to control? Is it forgiving or does it expose every little issue with one's technique? Again, we don't know the answers and while an audience may not hear these differences, they certainly affect the performance. And does the audience hear what the performer does? Most likely not but the differences may or may not be what one would expect. And probably most important of all is the law of diminishing returns. Somehow, I can't imagine that there is nearly as much difference between a $1 million violin and a $3 million one as there is between a $300 violin and a $1000 one. Heck, I'll be there is more difference between those last two violins than between the Strad and the violins worth in the 10's of thousands played by the rest of the orchestra.

So what does that say to me as a guitar player? I've got a few wonderful instruments... enjoy them. Nobody in an audience can tell and 99% don't care what it is or what it is worth. If it sounds good and fits in the mix... that is enough.

Immigration and the Devil

I've only voted Republican once in my life. After reading this article, I'm even more embarassed to admit that one time. It seems the Utah State Republicans met recently and ended their state convention by debating the influence of Satan on illegal immigrants. Yep. You read that right.

The Daily Herald, a daily paper in central Utah, reports that

Don Larsen, chairman of legislative District 65 for the Utah County Republican Party, had submitted a resolution warning that Satan's minions want to eliminate national borders and do away with sovereignty.

In a speech at the convention, Larsen told those gathered that illegal immigrants "hate American people" and "are determined to destroy this country, and there is nothing they won't do."

Illegal aliens are in control of the media, and working in tandem with Democrats, are trying to "destroy Christian America" and replace it with "a godless new world order -- and that is not extremism, that is fact," Larsen said.

What in the world can you say to that?

mission accomplished

4 years ago Bush stood on an aircraft carrier and proclaimed to the world that major combat operations were concluded. How many have died since then? And what could have been done with the nearly $1trillion spent thus far?

Yesterday, seated behind me on a flight from El Paso was an Army officer recently back from Iraq. I overheard him tell the man sitting next to him that "there is no military solution to Iraq." What he didn't imply but should have is that there is no military solution to any international conflicts. We spend more money on the military than the rest of the world combined and even with that plus the help of over 100,000 mercenaries in Iraq, we still can't beat that little country!?!? War doesn't work any longer. Terrorism cannot be defeated by bombing a village. Economic development, education, medical help, talking... these are the only techniques that can make a difference in today's world.

It may be that military might is needed to contain violence, but as a long term solution, it accomplishes no mission. All one need do is look at the quagmire that is Iraq to see that.

vacation and more

We're on Vacation now in south central New Mexico in a little town called Las Cruces at the foot of the Organ Mountains in the photo. The ads say that there are 350 sunny days a year here. A menu at a local restaurant said "Annual Rainfall? Yeah right..." Well of the 4 days we have been here, we've had three with rain including last evening that looked like a light show with over 300 lightning strikes in the area. Other than that, it has been a restful trip. It is beautiful as only the desert can be and the chilis are HOT!

One of our issues was to look for some proerty to purchase. Things are booming here with an incredible number of housing starts at what seem to our California sensibilities as extremely reasonable prices. We saw a number of houses we'd love to live in. Too bad they are not in Santa Barbara at these prices. We're not clear wheter purchasing here makes sense but it is something to think about.

Being on vacation has kept me from any comments on the Democratic debate. I did hear some of the snipes against Obama for not being forceful enough and the descriptions of Gravel being too far to the left when he said that the military folk who have died in Iraq have died in vain and that the only thing worse than having one soldier die in vain was to have another do so. All I can say is that Gravel was right.

what is beautiful?

The other day I had coffee with Billy Calderwood and Chris Henson from the Coastal Housing Partnershipto talk about strategies for involvement of faith leaders in advocacy for affordable ad workforce housing Santa Barbara. It was a wide ranging conversation with laughter and cynicism, ideas and excitement. They're both great guys who are also bright and insightful so it was a good time.

In the course of the discussion Billy brought up an idea that struck me as important enough to steal and put on my blog. We talked about the contrast between the breathtaking physical beauty of the area and the ugly underside of selfishness and exclusion that is seen in some sections of the community. Billy then shared that people often think of Montecito - the most ritzy area where many celebrities live (Oprah has a $50 million + house there) - as being a "clean" place of great beauty. Many of the homes there are hidden behind huge fences or tall hedges and massive gates. Many are not even visible from the streets. Neighbors are isolated from one another. Class and social barriers are strictly followed. This neighborhood was compared with Isla Vista, the student ghetto near the university which also has a significant population of mostly poor Latinos. IV is densely populated. The apartment buildings are right on top of one another. There are too many cars and thousands of bicycles on the streets. It is noisy. You cannot live there without rubbing shoulders with others. People are on the street interacting. Weekends can be wild and wooly. When there are social issues, the students take to the streets in solidarity with the poor, calling for justice for those who are oppressed, working for care of the environment or ending of unnecessary wars.

So here is the question... which locale is more beautiful?

Pachabel rant

this is Rob Paravonian ranting about Pachabel's Canon in D... enjoy!