prayers, imaginations, and intentions

The other day, my daughter called me on the carpet.  She was in town for the weekend and attended Cambridge Drive Church.   During lunch she raised a bunch of good questions about the direction of the church but the most important ones had to do with prayer, with imagination, and with intentions... and I think the three are tied together in an intimate way.

We're listening to Orson Scott Card's book, Xenocide, in the car.  It is an interesting and philosophical read - indeed, some folk have complained that it is too philosophical and needs more action.  In the book the Hive Queen describes the way new queens are formed as an imagining of what could be and a calling into the chaos for something to come and give shape to the pattern imagined.  In some ways, it recalls the New Agey idea of dreaming something hard enough and it happens.  It got me thinking about the role imagination plays in prayer... and how intentions are lived out when we have the courage to imagine them as real, present them to God, and live them out.

I have to admit that I've not had a very fertile imagination lately.  Cynicism has been more likely to hold sway in my heart than wonder and expectation.  That's not good.  It isn't helpful to the folk who are members at CDCC and it isn't helpful for those who need just the kind of community we are and should be becoming.  So... my task is to get imagining... to get intending... to get praying... and to see God's yearnings for us - wonderful, beautiful yearnings - filled full.

Christmas presents

Our daughter Alexis is pretty much a Renaissance woman. She is a great musician (listen to the links to the right), a great writer (read her blog), and a wonderful painter. She spent two years at Bard College as an art major. If you search my blog for stations of the cross, you can see more of her work. During her time there she made me a charcoal drawing of me playing guitar that I absolutely loved. For a variety of reasons I never got it hung... and then during our last move, I lost it.

I feel terrible about that. I really loved the drawing and was looking for the perfect place to hang it (which I have now) plus it was a gift from my daughter... It was one of those losses that you feel the absence... and I do.

Recently Alexis has been painting more and I asked her to do me a painting with me and a guitar. I showed her where I was planning to hang it and told her that I'd be happy to pay her for it (she is struggling financially these days).

She gave it to me as a Christmas present! I love it! This one, I hung immediately in my office for all to see. I don't see myself in it (maybe I'm not there), but it is full of guitars and guitar parts.



She did a painting for her mother as well which we have hung in our bathroom. This one picks up some images and colors from a hooked rug that Cheryl's grandmother made which we have in the bathroom as well.



We have two other paintings that Alexis did in our home... one that was a gift and another that is on loan from the artist until she has a wall big enough for it. We're hoping that she takes a long time before she gets a room that can house that painting.

Stations of the cross

Did you know that the 40 days of Lent does not include Sundays? Blogging through The Orthodox Heretic leaves me with Sundays off... so I thought I share the Stations of the Cross from our church with you. They were painted by my daughter, Alexis, who also wrote the prayers. There are typically 14 stations although she also added "Resurrection." So each Sunday I'll share a few up until Easter.

The Stations of the Cross is a meditative exercise. I believe this is enhanced by the abstract images Alexis made. Let the image sit in your heart for a few moments and imagine the experience of Jesus during those final days of his life... then read the prayer Alexis wrote as she reflected on that station...

I hope you find the stations meaningful.

Opening Prayer:

Dear Creator – Thank you for your greatest miracle, and your greatest gift. I walk now, remembering your walk two thousand years before. My heart meditating on the world’s most awesome power, your love.
Amen.

First Station:
Jesus is Condemned to Die



Some will accuse and some will attack. When words come at me like swords, I pray for understanding of hurt hearts and of frightened minds. Give me strength to be wise, still my heart of confusion, give me clarity to see, and grant me peace to forgive.

Amen.


Second Station:
Jesus Takes His Cross



Along my journey there will be obstacles. Give me the strength to pursue my path. Give me courage to persist in life’s problems. Allow my eyes to be opened to the world and the communal struggles your people face. Give me courage to join together with my sisters and brothers to take up our communal crosses.

Amen.

Saving Faith

My daughter, Alexis, has recently begun a new video blog - Saving Faith - where she will be sharing some of her thoughts about the Church, where it is and where it needs to be. I think the issues are especially close to her heart since her move to Phoenix. She has had difficulty finding a faith community where she feels like she fits. There are lots of big conservative churches which don't work on a theological level and there are a few liberal churches that she has visited that don't work on a cultural level. So, she continues to struggle and search. I understand her difficulties.

She is passionate, thoughtful, has had a very interesting set of experiences in her life )including a mission experience in Central America and 6 months in India looking at the role of faith in building a civil society), and is very bright... sometimes oversimplifies things a bit perhaps (isn't that a prerogative of someone in their 20's?), but will certainly raise some good questions. I hope some of you will check out her thoughts and enter into genuine dialogue with her.

here is her second entry...

Bye Babe

My daughter and her new husband drove off this morning. They're moving to Phoenix.

It has been an interesting experience for me. I basically moved out of my parents home when I left for college at age 17. I didn't give it a thought. Alexis is 26 this year and has been in and out of our home since she first left for college. Even while she was away - as far as India and Hungary - she retained a tether to her parents home. Now, she has moved out on her own and her bedroom is empty.

All of the things that I didn't think about when I left home are weighing on my heart now. I wonder how far away from us she'll be when she has children. I don't want to not be a part of their lives. I worry about whether she and Christian will find paths that fulfill God's yearnings for them. I worry that they will have difficulty finding a community of friends and especially a faith community. I worry that Phoenix will not be a positive experience for them. I just worry about them. I already miss her and she's only been gone a few hours.


At the same time, I know that they are adults now and that they need to make these steps to find the path that is right for them. I know that this is an important part of their formation... and mine. I need to be able to let her go ad trust that she will make the choices that she needs to make and move in the directions for her. And I need to begin moving towards the next phase in my life. Our son is still at home, but one of these days he will leave too and Cheryl and I will need to find new ways to be together without our children immediately in the relationship.

on we go.

Alexis & Christian

My little girl was married on 8/8/08 (yeah... I had to miss the opening exercises of the Olympics). I wanted to be only the dad so I didn't take any photos and was waiting to blg until somebody sent me some. These photos were taken by my brother-in-law, Bob.

The wedding was wonderful. It took place at First Baptist of Santa Barbara They have a breath-taking setting and enough room to host the number of guests we were expecting. The service was perfect with music by Thomas Leeb, Jessica Mireles, Jamie Green, and Stephanie Katavolos. Our friend, Larry Phillips came from Schenectady, New York to perform the ceremony. Friends and family came from all over including a maid of honor from France. It was just wonderful.

Folk stayed around for a few days and some of us went on a wine tour, others did a whale watch... and we laughed and cried and drank lots of wine together.

a few more photos...

Alexis and Christian



and our family...



Alexis and Christian are moving to Phoenix in a little more than a week. I'll miss having her nearby terribly but I am so happy that she and Christian are so in love and so committed to one another.

updates

it feels like I've been neglecting my blog recently... life has been crazy.

the deal on the condo in Buellton fell through so we're looking around to see what we might be able to find. We've looked at some places in Santa Barbara and Goleta and were very discouraged. Our price range really didn't purchase very much. Today we saw some units in Carpinteria (a little coastal town about 15 miles east of Santa Barbara) and saw some places that we really liked. They cost considerably more than in Buellton but the distance is much less and you're right on the ocean. The real down side is that the highway to Santa Barbara is often very congested in that direction and they are going to be working on it for about the next 5 years... making it worse.


Alexis received her masters degree from UCSB in Global and International Studies. Her interest has been the role of interfaith relationships in forming a civil society. Congratulations Alexis!

My GAS seems to have found a cure... I have agreed to purchase a Kenny Hill Crossover. Kenny Hill is a builder of high end classical guitars who also contracts with some small shops in Paracho, Mexico and in China to build guitars according to his designs. The crossover I'll be getting is from one of these small shops (I'm not sure where at this point). Most of the hybrid designs come from companies who specialize in steel strings and try their hand at a hybrid design so they can sell a nylon string to their loyal fans. For example, Taylor currently has a number of hybrid guitars and Martin has discontinued their design. The Hill company is coming from the other direction. They know how to build nylon string guitars and have designed one that is easier for steel string players to play. Theoretically, they do a better job of getting the guitar to sound like a real classical is supposed to sound. The word on the web is that the Hills do just that and sound amazing. It should arrive late next week. I'll write more about it then.

In the meantime, I've sold an amplifier and have an electric guitar for sale on e-bay and a violin on craigslist.

Saturday, my friend Jamie had a significant birthday and she had a great party... except I bit into a piece of a baguette smothered in a wonderful tapenade... and broke a tooth on a piece of olive pit. So, I'm off to see the dentist on Weds. It was still a great party with wonderful friends, great food, and fantastic music. Happy b'day Jamie!

Station Fifteen

Station Fifteen - Resurrection!

The traditional Stations of the Cross end with the 14th station, "Jesus Body Is Laid in the Tomb." As Protestants who stand outside that tradition, we felt that the story was incomplete. Good Friday must be followed by Easter Sunday. Death must give way to life. God's love transforms the whole order of creation. So, our Stations include a 15th Station - Resurrection. As you see it is the brightest of the paintings. It is also the largest, symbolizing the fact that the resurrection gives meaning to all that went before.



Prayer for the Fifteenth Station

When I am in the darkest night, remind me of the coming dawn. Creator, the One who made everything, remind me that you have transformative power. In your compassionate arms, evil is made good, ugly made beautiful, weak made strong, dead made to live. Allow me to receive your compassion so that I may transform lives around me.

Hear my earnest prayer, O God

Station Fourteen

Station Fourteen - Jesus Is Laid in the Tomb



Prayer for Station Fourteen

When I want to keep my resources to myself, even though they would be used better elsewhere, drive me to give. Keep generosity at the foremost of my thoughts, the tip of my tongue and the ends of my fingers. Remind me that the gifts I give now come back one hundred-fold.

Station Thirteen

Station Thirteen - The Body of Jesus Is Taken Down from the Cross



Prayer for Station Thirteen

It is easy to be kind and to do good when someone is obviously in pain. It is easy to see a way of healing at that time. Grant me sight for those difficult moments when your people are in pain, in longing in much more subtle ways. Give me vision for shades of gray.

Station Twelve

Station Twelve - Jesus Dies



Prayer for Station Twelve

Give me moments to ponder in my heart your supreme love, a love greater than all others, a love for each and every one of your children.

Station Eleven

Station Eleven - Jesus Is Nailed to the Cross



Prayer for Station Eleven

Peel my prejudice away and open my arms that I may embrace all of my family on this world. It is tempting for me to take my anger out on others. Grant me strength to love and not to lash out. Make my hands those of healing and not those of hate.

Station Ten

Station Ten - Jesus is Stripped of His Clothing



Prayer for Station Ten

When I am tempted to be a follower of societal norms, correct my direction. Allow me to only be a follower of one path, the one of truth. Never allow me to grow so weak that I am a pack member, but only allow me to run with your pack.

Station Nine

Station Nine - Jesus Falls a Third Time



Prayer for Station Nine

Grant me strength to be crazy. Help me to jump off cliffs and to crawl into dark places. Keep my talk and step in time together.

Station Eight

Station Eight - Jesus Meets the Women of Jerusalem



Prayer for Station Eight

My own reflection clouds my judgment. Break my mirror so that I can see beyond it. Squeeze out my ego when I have become too self absorbed. The world is larger than me or mine. I can do more with you.

Station Seven

Station Seven - Jesus Falls a Second Time



Prayer for Station Seven:

Give me knowledge that I have strengths and weaknesses. Do not allow me to shy away from this fact. Make me strong enough to recognize that I cannot do everything well or correctly the first time, but do not permit me to give up. Keep me stubborn so that I will never stop trying.

Station Six

Station Six - Veronica Wipes Jesus' Face



Prayer for Station Six

O Creator, remind me that though I am small, though I am insignificant in this vast universe, everything I do makes a difference. Show me that when I so much as smile to a person who is burdened, I can change the path of fate

Station Five

Station Five - Simone of Cyrene Is Made to Carry Jesus' Cross



Prayer for Station Five

Sometimes I am frightened to give of myself to others. Peel the caul from my eyes so that I might see when I give part of myself to help another, I will gain ten times ten what was given. Show me that there is nothing to lose, and everything to gain.

Station Four

Station Four - Jesus Meets Mary, His Mother



Prayer for Station Four

In the midst of a hectic world, I am thrown. I turn my head this way and that, seeking solace in the mess. Guide me to those who will nurture me. Lead me to those who will lift me up out of the mess so that I might find that peace that passes understanding.

Station Three

Station Three: Jesus Falls the First Time




Prayer for the Third Station

In my fear of failure, I abandon difficult projects, people, and problems. I procrastinate, and I finish tasks haphazardly. Buttress my soul with your strength. Help me to see that I can accomplish anything with you by my side.